Do Better – Victim Blame

Do Better – Victim Blame

News broke about a woman being killed for rejecting the advances of a man. In this particular case, he had already violated her by grinding on her. Telling him to stop ended in her death.

Another story about a man killing his girlfriend’s child.

And yet another story about a man impregnating his girlfriend’s 11 year old daughter.

And even another story about UNC Chapel Hill covering up yet another rape on campus.

A man rapes an unconscious woman and serves 3 months and is set free

Another man is set free because jail would be too harsh for him, even though he raped a small child, filmed and distributed it with plans for another.

Even worse, a story about a judge asking a rape victim why she didn’t just close her legs or lower her bottom to avoid penetration while acquitting her rapist

These are heinous and horrible crimes of violence against women

And yet, the response from many women are comments like these:

“Do a better job of watching your children”

“Stop leaving your children with men who are not their fathers”

“Women should not leave their children with men who are not their husbands”

This is no different from “why didn’t she just close her legs”

We live in a country where men are not arrested or prosecuted for violence against women. We live in a country where rape culture is so prevalent men are given a pass for the sake of a television show, a movie, a recording career or for throwing a ball.

Consider this: No mother or father in their right mind expects their child to be hurt or die at all, let alone at the hands of someone they love. These comments about women not protecting themselves or their children from something in our society that is not a punishable offense is wrong.

Yes, we must be hyper-vigilant. Yes we want to protect them, but the truth is if a person has the intent to violate a woman or a child, they will and it often happens by and right under the noses of the people charged to love and protect them

Stop blaming women for the heinous acts of violence against women. Get it right and put your money where your mouth is, because the truth is, chances are somebody didn’t protect you from a similar pain you haven’t made public. It is harmful, hurtful and inhumane to victim blame and lets be clear, this is exactly what it is.